it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
