Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
