When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
