Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
