I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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