well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm at about main and main street
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
