I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't deserve a penis
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
