Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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