so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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