Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
