Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
