Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
