i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
