i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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