I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Houston, we have a blender
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
