You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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