dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its about making memories worth repressing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
