paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
