We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
