You work out of a Hotel?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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