I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I just put wine in my tea
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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