One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
