I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
