Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
