problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
