So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hate all girls vehemently.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wish there were birth control emojis
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
