bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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