ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
