Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
