Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
