Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
