He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
