Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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