just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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