All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
