The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
