My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
