i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
