i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
