You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
