Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
