What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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