The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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