so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
