Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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