Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
