In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just threw up on my dentist
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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