well I can't set my house on fire every night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
