I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
did you just send me my own nude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
