I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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